Tuesday, October 21, 2008


Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, The Saint and I could do all of our laundry in one day. Then we had a child. This teeny, tiny 3 pound cherub easily tripled our laundry. Babies are deceptively yummy smelling. They are rather dirty little critters. So, of course, we had another baby. As our babies grew, so did the laundry. And to the regular laundry was eventually added volleyball uniforms, cheer uniforms, basketball uniforms, football uniforms (which are extremely dirty!) and cross country/track uniforms plus running clothes for training. And, in case you have never done a runner's laundry, let me just tell you that enough mud to create a new planet will end up plastered on the runner's socks, shorts and shirt. Muddy running clothes make football uniforms look pristine.
At this point in my life, I must do a minimum of three loads of laundry a day. If I do not, the laundry will eat the house. Last week I neglected the laundry and it was beginning to demand I set a place for it at the table, so I have been playing catch up all week. My darling children's role in all of this is to bring their clothes downstairs every morning. Yes, I realize I am cruel and unreasonable, but since they are bringing themselves downstairs I heartlessly expect them to bring clothes with them.
At about ten this evening I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Three loads left! I went upstairs, looked at my precious sleeping boy and opened his closet to hang up some clean clothes. Guess what I found! Dirty clothes. A big, honkin' pile of dirty clothes. I snarled and growled and took the clothes to the laundry room. It then occurred to me that none my laundry this week had included Little Runner Girl's cheer uniform. Back upstairs to peek in her closet. Sure enough...she also had a giant pile of dirty clothes. Ggrrrrrrrr!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my children had a total of seven (yes!!! freakin' seven!!!! no, I am absolutely not kidding and I have a large capacity washer and drier) loads of laundry stuffed in their closets. Half of it was probably clean clothes that they never put away. I do believe that in most states this is grounds for justifiable homicide.
P.S. In case you are a random lurker with no sense of humor, I am kidding about killing my children. But they are so grounded.

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