Saturday, September 27, 2008


Yesterday I walked into the house and discovered Prince Charming's cup on the kitchen counter. And I do not mean a drinking cup!!! That nasty thing is worn all week to football practice and every weekend to football games. Bleh! And when I asked him why on earth it was on the counter, he responded with the only-logical-to-him answer of "Well, it was on the floor".
Boys have cooties!!! My son included!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Holy Cow!!!

No, I am not describing myself in the title, but I might as well be. After nearly suffering heart failure from the number on my scale earlier this week, I zipped (barely) myself into my too snug teacher skirt and waddled off to school. About twenty minutes later, Prankster came in and said "I'm going to join Weight Watchers. This week! Do you want to go with me?" Well of course I do!!! It is either that or wire my jaws shut.
So, our first meeting was tonight. Hello, I weigh 4.8 pounds less than I did when I gave birth to Little Runner Girl. And my scale at home? The one that nearly caused my coronary? It is such a liar! Oh my stars and garters!!!!! No wonder none of my clothes fit me!
Oh, and my favorite thing to eat at Taco Bell (Nachos Bell Grande) is actually one point more than I should be eating for the whole day!!!! Aaaaaaggghhh!
The leader chick also chose to use a Snickers bar as an example, at which point Prankster smacked my leg and said "See! I told you those are bad!"
So, armed with determination, recipes and points books we headed out to the parking lot. And decided the day was over anyway, so we might as well make one last trip to Taco Bell. Aren't we just the queens of willpower?
P.S. Don't tell Prankster, but I also had a Snickers bar after dinner. I'm not feeling guilty about it because I would bet my tootbrush she had vodka for dessert.

Monday, September 22, 2008


We finally made it to Boston. Our first experience with the city was a psychopathic cabbie who was quite upset that Suze would dare touch his buttons. I believe his name was DoNotBeTouchingMyButtonsIDoNotLikePeopleAlwaysTouchingButtonsDoNotTouchMyButtons.
After I did not tip him and told him, with typical Southern understatement, that he was "quite unpleasant", we went to our wonderful room. With two bathrooms!!! OK, the showers were almost exactly the size of a Barbie Dream House shower, but there were two bathrooms!!! The three of us have shared many, many bathrooms, but we have never had the luxury of two. Suze and Prankster took one bathroom. My bags and I took the other. I think this says something about me. Suze is thinking it says "See! You have too many #$@& bags!".
We had a truly wonderful meal at Legal Seafood. My appetizer was an absolutely divine lobster bisque. Our whole meal was fabulous. And, because I have no shame, I told every single person in Boston that we were celebrating my birthday. Our very sweet waitress brought me cake. And the staff sang to me. Like a spoiled six year old. I love being treated like a spoiled six year old.
After dinner we took our stuffed selves wandering around aimlessly. What a cool city! Modernity and history all in one remarkable package.
We ended the evening at the coolest Irish pub. I want to live there. In the pub. Which may not be practical for daily life.
Can I rewind and relive our weekend? No? 'Cause I am ready to go back to Boston right now!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Blah! Blah! Blah!

Fair warning: much of what I find uproariously funny when traveling with Suze and Prankster doesn't seem funny to others. We tend to have hours of "you had to be there" moments. We once spent at least 45 minutes in a hotel room bed laughing and joking about a place called The Chicken Hut. My face and stomach seriously hurt from laughing so hard, but when I tried to explain to The Saint what was so hilarious, his eyes glazed over and he gave me the my-wife-may-need-a mental-health-professional look.
Our Boston adventure began with a minor miracle. I was early! Early!!! Prankster constantly promises "I will leave your ass!" because I am never on time. She's never left me though, 'cause she loves me. I should stop telling people that or she really will leave me sometime.
Prankster is terrified of flying and getting her on a plane requires some self medication. The first thing I saw when the car door opened was Prankster's grin. "I just had a tequila shot!" she said proudly. It was 5:30. In the morning. Just so you know.
After the lovely barefoot bag search involved in getting on a plane these days (And whoever thinks I can travel with all of my cosmetics packed into a quart bag is just insane. Some girls can get by with very few cosmetics. I am not one of those girls.) we settled in to wait for boarding and were soon visited by The Spirit of Obnoxious Attention Seekers. We were treated to the delightful self-involved chatter of The Loudest Woman on the Planet. So was everyone else on the plane. Everyone on the flight quickly learned how much the rental company wanted to charge her group for a car, where she worked, how much her dad's car cost, how much her mom's car cost, what shoes she would love to buy, the Tiffany ring she would like to have, the cost of the ring her father just bought her mom, the fact that her father flies coach so she and her mom can fly first class, where some random guy that might be worth dating lives, her plans for the entire weekend, where she would be eating dinner in Boston, etc., etc., etc. She was completely oblivious to the glares of the passengers in the surrounding aisles.
In an effort to shut out the screeching and (to be completely honest) because we could, we ordered cocktails the minute the flight attendant asked. In Atlanta, we had a little time before our next flight so we had some lunch and another drink. And missed our flight! OK, the plane was actually still at the gate, but they had already closed the door. Suze did a magnificent job of booking us on another flight. To pass the time we decided to visit the airport bar. We were quite merry by the time we made the plane to Boston. And we all had a good nap on the way.
And I will have to comtinue this story later because I do have a few actual responsibilities in real life. Bleh!


I am really missing my Mama today. I've been sorting through some of her fabric and sewing things, coming across unfinished projects. This coming Saturday would have been her 64th birthday.
I want my Mommy :(

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Excuses, Excuses

Yeah, yeah, I know. I still haven't written about our Boston adventure. I have excellent reasons for my procrastination. Really I do. Hmmmm...that could be the title of my autobiography... "I Have Excellent Reasons for My Procrastination". Only it would never be published because I wouldn't get around to submitting it. Where was I going with this?
Oh, yeah! Excuses. I need to find out how to get the photos off my camera and onto here and how to do that cool little link thing to my friend Suze's blog. The fact that the Saint gets paid for both designing software and taking pictures does not mean I know anything about either computers or cameras. And asking him will result in a three hour tutorial on the 57 possible ways I could accomplish both of those tasks and an artistic critique of my slightly (Ha!) under the influence photography.
Also, I have returned to the volleyball, cheer, football, scouts, cotillion cycle. And my uncle made a quick run through town. And big old honkin' Ike huffed and puffed. And Little Runner Girl broke up with her boyfriend because "There are just sooooo many cute boys!" but she was still a little sad. And now she has a cold or some such fever, cough, icky nose thing. And I've been busy.
See! I have plenty of excuses!!!
I almost forgot to tell y'all that all of my loved ones in Texas are safe and sound. No catastrophic property damage, no injuries, and some of them got power back on today! Hurray!!!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Texas Hurricane

Brazoria County, Texas is the county of my birth. It also happens to be home to more than twenty members of my extended family. Some of my family members have gone to Houston, but that may not be far enough. And, as of today, some of my family members have made the choice to shelter in place. I am hoping they will obey the mandatory evacuation order I just saw, but I haven't talked to anyone since about 6:30 this evening. Needless to say, I am having myself a little freak-out. It is my opinion that I have suffered quite enough loss and grief this year, but it is possible that God has different plans. Please pray for my loved ones, that they will all make it through this storm unharmed. Please pray especially for my great uncle Ken in Houston, who is blind and quite frail. Also say a special prayer for my cousin Julie who is an ICU nurse in Houston.
Thanks y'all.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Chicken Floorentine

So, a typical day in my life involves getting three different children to three different practices and then sometimes to three different sporting events. Fortunately, the girls have some practices together. (My niece Esmeralda is my virtual 3rd child.) (I would also like to take this opportunity to point out the fact that this entire post would have caused my 11th grade English teacher to break out in hives. And then fall to the floor in convulsions. And then die. And then come back to life and eat my head.) Ummmm....did I have a point to this post?
Oh, yeah. Because I do not want my children to eat fast food and/or concession stand garbage every single day of their lives, I asked my Daddy to get me a Pyrex Portables thingy for my birthday. Actually, I called him from Target and said "You're getting me a Pyrex Portables thingy for my birthday" and he said "Get what you want and I'll write you a check". My Mama always did the gift buying. OK, no crying while typing allowed.
Anyway, today I made Chicken Florentine in my lovely new Pyrex to take to Prince Charming's football game. It smelled amazing. I was quite pleased with myself. That is, until I tried to take the Chicken Florentine out of the oven. The potholder slipped or something guessed it...Chicken Floorentine. And Chicken Door of the Oventine. I was not a happy girl. I said a word (or two) that made Prince Charming give me his I-am-pretending-my-mother-does-not-curse look. I am happy to report that I did not break the dish. I did, sadly, have to clean up the big honkin' mess. My only other option would have been letting my cats clean it up. Resulting, obviously, in an even bigger mess.
Now that I have bored you into a comatose state, I feel much better. Tomorrow, Tales from Boston. I haven't recovered enough to fully report yet.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

I'm Outta Here!

In less than seven hours I'll be on my way to Boston. And, since procrastination is my superpower, I still have exactly zero items in my suitcase. No, I am not kidding.
Honestly, I have nothing to wear. At least, I have nothing to wear that fits. So I am taking some tight but still zippable (ooh, look at that pretty non-word) clothes. None of them will zip by the end of the weekend, I'm sure. I'll be flying home wearing hotel sheets.
Anyway, I wanted to let my enormous collection of readers know where I'll be. Oh wait! There are only three of you and two of you will be with me in Boston. Well, never mind!