Monday, July 28, 2008

Prince Charming

He has laughing eyes the color of melted chocolate. He has a tiny freckle at each corner of his mouth and one at the bow of his lips. His left cheek has the tiniest, most precious dimple on the planet. He is the class clown and also the class brain. He has a smile that stops my heart in its tracks. He is tenderhearted, compassionate and insanely charming. He still loves it when I call him Little Brown Bear, even in public.

When I was teenager, I wrote out a plan for my life...a plan that included only daughters. Eleven years ago today, I was blessed with a son.

He is not what I had planned. He is everything I ever wanted.

Happy Birthday Prince Charming!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


My family and I are in the midst of our annual visit to the desert. YeeHaw. And why are we spending two weeks in the desert in the middle of July? Because all the rooms in Hell were booked.
Actually, we are visiting my in-laws. For two weeks. Yeah, I know. More on that later.
Needless to say, at some point one desires a bit of privacy. Also, nature does occasionally call, requiring a trip to the bathroom. When my children were small, I made peace with the fact that I could never use the bathroom without little people in attendance, wiggling fingers under the door, asking "Can I hab a dwink?" or wanting to come in for a chat. I was okay with that but, My Goodness Gracious!, why oh why can they not give me five minutes now?
I swear to you my children hardly spoke to me this morning until I was in the bathroom. Naturally, this bathroom is in the hallway of my in-laws house, opening directly across from the entrance most frequently used by everyone in the universe including the very loud and nosy neighbor from New Jersey who thinks showing up before breakfast is perfectly normal. Grrr!!!
Where was I? Oh yes, the bathroom. I could not have been in there more than 30 seconds before Little Runner Girl knocked on the door.
"Can I come in?"
"What do you want?"
Little Runner Girl opens the door and stands there WITH IT OPEN and asks
"What are you doing?" Ummmm, okay.
"Could you close the door, please!?"
She closes the door and asks "Why are you getting annoyed with me?"
"Did you need something?"
"Yeah, do you know where my other swimsuit is?"
"In your suitcase?"
At this point Prince Charming knocks on the door and says
"Can I come in?"
At the same time Little Runner girl is saying "I already looked."
"Son, what do you need? Honey, what is wrong with the swimsuit in your hand?"
Prince Charming opens the door. Apparently my children believe I want audience.
"Son, close the door! Sweet Pea, those bathing suits are almost identical. Just get dressed."
Prince Charming comes in and closes the door. There are now three people crammed into a very small mid 1970's bathroom.
Prince Charming asks "What are you doing?" I think my children missed something during potty training. How many possibilties are there for what a person does while sitting on a toilet?
"Where's your purse?"
"I don't know."
"But I packed the other one, I know." "I need to get my Webkinz thing out of your purse."
"Get dressed or go look for your other suit. Son, go look for my purse if you need it. Get out of here and give me five minutes to myself."
"But I need your purse." "But I don't want to wear this one."
"My purse is not in this bathroom. Go naked, put on that suit or find the other one. Get out of here!"
"Can I get on the computer?" "What are we doing tomorrow?"
"These are not emergencies! OUT!"
These children will be 11 and 14 in less than a month. I swear to goodness they'll be driving back from college just so they can stand in the bathroom asking me questions!
(And yes, I did forget to lock the door. Brilliant!)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Baby Come Back

Prince Charming has been away at camp this week and I am so ready for my boy to be home. I will admit that the first few days without the chaos that is almost-11-year-old-boy were rather relaxing. Now, the house just seems eerily quiet and strangely odor free. Little Runner Girl said "It's too quiet. There haven't been any enormous crashing noises from upstairs all week".
I am ready for my baby to come home. (And yes, he is still my baby!)

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Brett Favre and Me

Let me just start by saying that I have virtually no interest in professional sports. As a result, I was not really paying attention this evening when Prince Charming started discussing rumors that Brett Favre would like to come out of retirement. I had a vague idea that Brett Favre was maybe a football player, but I wasn't entirely sure. I was trying to be a good Mama and ask reasonably intelligent questions of my boy babbling on about a topic that completely bores me.
I asked why Brett Favre retired and this was my sweet boy's response... "Oh my gosh, Mama! He is reeeaaally old!" And to my query of how old really old might be..."Like, 38 or something." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am actually a year older than "really old".
I am considering changing Prince Charming's name to Prince Stinker.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008


I think I tend to be a fairly optimistic person. I try to find the good in any situation, but I am fairly certain I will not look back on this year as one of the best in my life. The latest I-cannot-believe-this-is-happening thing to happen is the death of my friend Songstress. She was a beautiful 40 year old mother of two who went toe to to with cancer. Sadly, the cancer won.
Her biggest concern during this long ordeal was what would happen to her children if she did die. Her husband spent years raising those children with her, loving and protecting them the way a father should. Her fabulous ex-husband, The Idiot, told her he would take the kids the minute she died. This lovely man moved away from his children and back to his hometown of Cooter Sweat, Louisiana because "my kids didn't call me on my birthday or Christmas". Said kids were 3 and 6 at the time. Ummmm.....yeah.
I do also have a selfish motive for wanting those kids to stay here. Songstress was the mother of Little Runner Girl's best friend Twin. Yes, I am sad that my daughter's best friend is moving to a place where people cannot spell their own names. But I am mostly astonished that anyone could possibly think that it is in the best interest of these children to bury their mother on Friday and move them out of state on Saturday. The Idiot didn't even bother to take any of their things with them except the clothes they had packed to sleep over while their mom was in the hospital. He'll come back for the rest of their things "when it is more convenient". I wouldn't want The Idiot to inconvenience himself.
I am furious and I am heartbroken.