Wednesday, July 16, 2008


My family and I are in the midst of our annual visit to the desert. YeeHaw. And why are we spending two weeks in the desert in the middle of July? Because all the rooms in Hell were booked.
Actually, we are visiting my in-laws. For two weeks. Yeah, I know. More on that later.
Needless to say, at some point one desires a bit of privacy. Also, nature does occasionally call, requiring a trip to the bathroom. When my children were small, I made peace with the fact that I could never use the bathroom without little people in attendance, wiggling fingers under the door, asking "Can I hab a dwink?" or wanting to come in for a chat. I was okay with that but, My Goodness Gracious!, why oh why can they not give me five minutes now?
I swear to you my children hardly spoke to me this morning until I was in the bathroom. Naturally, this bathroom is in the hallway of my in-laws house, opening directly across from the entrance most frequently used by everyone in the universe including the very loud and nosy neighbor from New Jersey who thinks showing up before breakfast is perfectly normal. Grrr!!!
Where was I? Oh yes, the bathroom. I could not have been in there more than 30 seconds before Little Runner Girl knocked on the door.
"Can I come in?"
"What do you want?"
Little Runner Girl opens the door and stands there WITH IT OPEN and asks
"What are you doing?" Ummmm, okay.
"Could you close the door, please!?"
She closes the door and asks "Why are you getting annoyed with me?"
"Did you need something?"
"Yeah, do you know where my other swimsuit is?"
"In your suitcase?"
At this point Prince Charming knocks on the door and says
"Can I come in?"
At the same time Little Runner girl is saying "I already looked."
"Son, what do you need? Honey, what is wrong with the swimsuit in your hand?"
Prince Charming opens the door. Apparently my children believe I want audience.
"Son, close the door! Sweet Pea, those bathing suits are almost identical. Just get dressed."
Prince Charming comes in and closes the door. There are now three people crammed into a very small mid 1970's bathroom.
Prince Charming asks "What are you doing?" I think my children missed something during potty training. How many possibilties are there for what a person does while sitting on a toilet?
"Where's your purse?"
"I don't know."
"But I packed the other one, I know." "I need to get my Webkinz thing out of your purse."
"Get dressed or go look for your other suit. Son, go look for my purse if you need it. Get out of here and give me five minutes to myself."
"But I need your purse." "But I don't want to wear this one."
"My purse is not in this bathroom. Go naked, put on that suit or find the other one. Get out of here!"
"Can I get on the computer?" "What are we doing tomorrow?"
"These are not emergencies! OUT!"
These children will be 11 and 14 in less than a month. I swear to goodness they'll be driving back from college just so they can stand in the bathroom asking me questions!
(And yes, I did forget to lock the door. Brilliant!)

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