Monday, May 25, 2009

Freak Show

Riverfest weekend...the biggest freak show in Arkansas.

A creepy drunk guy walked up to our ice cream booth and asked Little Runner Girl and me "So, do you both go to (Little Runner Girl's high school - we were wearing shirts with the school logo)?
"No, I'm her Mom" I said.
"Oh, so I guess that means you aren't in high school?"

Another drunk guy tried to pick me up with the oh-so-groovy line "I don't know what's melting faster, me or the ice cream." Hawt.

And then there was the very bizarre guy who went on and on and on about getting fired from LR Waste Management. He kept asking how they could fire him since he owned stock in the company. He had been digging through the trash behind the ice cream cart. Every time he found something recyclable, he held it up in the air to show I have no idea who. He then walked over to the cart, put his unwashed hands on the door handles and said "Everything is recyclable, you know. I just have to teach that to LR Waste Management. I have the only truck that can do it all, you know." Well, OK then.

A great deal of money is spent at Riverfest, often by people who don't look in a position to be spending it. Call me judgemental, but I think some of these people might be better off spending their cash on things like dental care. Or soap. Or clothes they didn't buy ten sizes ago.

One always sees quite the fashion show at Riverfest. 300 pound women in size 4 shorts and tiny tank tops. 300 pound men wearing no shirts at all, but lots and lots of back hair. Shudder. And then there was Matrix Boy. Head to toe black (which could have worked had he known how to pull it off) topped off by a too long black coat. The coat had slits cut up the back and had about 5 inches dragging the ground. In the rain on Sunday, with mud and water splashing up from the flapping coattails, the effect was far less dangerous, sexy punk and far more pitiful child caught in a car wash. Everyone he passed was laughing, including the barefooted redneck woman with (I wish I was kidding!) a total of four teeth in her bottom gums. You know you look stupid if the toothless people are laughing at you!

3 comments:

Susan said...

Those shorts were size 6. Back off.

Keith said...

They are spending their money on something other than Riverfest. Meth isn't free, you know.

YrObtSvt said...

For the record, I do not weigh 300 pounds, and I kept my shirt on the entire time.