Why On Earth Am I Writing a Blog?

1. So I can lure y'all into my Cult of Obsessive Toothbrushing.
2. Because the daily adventures of a middle-aged, suburban housewife are simply riveting.
3. To further mortify my teenager.
4. Because I was running out of reasons to ignore my housework.
5. And my laundry.
6. Also, I want a place to commit crimes against proper sentence structure. And grammar. And punctuation.
7. My head is full of useless information and I need somewhere to store my thoughts.
8. I'll never have to tell a blog to chew with its mouth closed, brush its teeth, get its shoes out of the living room floor, bring me its dirty clothes or get its junk out of the car.
9. All the cool kids are doing it.
10. Okay, all the cool kids except my friend Prankster. This will really annoy her. BwaaaHaaaHaaa!